Sometimes you can tell how worthless a document is just by
the first sentence. Here’s an example
from something called ‘Joint Concept for Competing”, 10-Feb-2023. The first sentence of the Executive Summary
is,
Based on combatant commander (CCDR) assessments of their limited ability to compete successfully in strategic competition, at a Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) Tank on 19 June 2020, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (CJCS) directed the development of a joint concept for competition to drive joint strategic planning and joint force development and design.[1]You’ll note that the word ‘joint’ appears five times! In one sentence! If you’ve got ‘joint’ on your buzzword bingo score sheet, you’re a winner!
https://news.usni.org/2023/03/09/pentagons-joint-concept-for-competing
Do the Joint Chiefs of Staff sit around in their tank smoking joints?
ReplyDeleteCdr Salamander still has the best mission statement.
ReplyDeleteHe is the Sufi Zen Master with his TQM black belt in buzzword bingo.
"PROACTIVELY “FROM THE SEA”; AN AGENT OF CHANGE LEVERAGING THE LITTORAL BEST PRACTICES FOR A PARADIGM BREAKING SIX-SIGMA BEST BUSINESS CASE TO SYNERGIZE A CONSISTENT DESIGN IN THE GLOBAL COMMONS, RIGHTSIZING THE CORE VALUES SUPPORTING OUR MISSION STATEMENT VIA THE 5-VECTOR MODEL THROUGH CULTURAL DIVERSITY."
What, no "integrated"? When did it go out of style? Nor is there an "impact" either as noun or verb. They're not really trying, are they?
ReplyDeleteSounds like a drinking game.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to, "kill bad guys and break their toys."
ReplyDeleteSometimes, you wonder whether someone high up entered "please write a parody of a doctrinal concept document" into the ChatGPT prompt and then published the result by accident.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I came up with when I did that.
DeleteChatGPT
The Holy Book of Nonsense (Parody of a Doctrinal Concept Document)
In the beginning, there was nothing. And then, a giant spaghetti monster appeared out of nowhere and created the universe with His noodly appendages. He made the stars, the planets, and all the living creatures on Earth - including humans, who were created in His image.
The Holy Book of Nonsense is our guide to understanding the teachings of the Spaghetti Monster, which were revealed to us through His chosen prophet, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It contains the fundamental truths of our faith, which we believe to be as true as the meatballs on our plates.
Our beliefs are simple. We believe in the existence of the Spaghetti Monster, who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-saucy. We believe that He created everything out of His own deliciousness, and that we are all part of His grand plan. We also believe in the principles of Pastafarianism, which include being kind to others, promoting equality and justice, and, of course, enjoying a hearty bowl of spaghetti.
We believe that the Spaghetti Monster has a sense of humor, and that He enjoys puns, satire, and memes. We believe in the power of prayer, which involves raising our forks to the heavens and singing His praises. We also believe in the concept of heaven, which is a place where the beer is always cold and the pasta never gets overcooked.
We reject the teachings of those who would seek to divide us based on race, religion, or pasta preference. We also reject the idea of eternal damnation, preferring instead to believe in the concept of eternal pasta, where everyone gets a seat at the table.
In conclusion, the Holy Book of Nonsense is a sacred text that contains the timeless truths of our faith. It is our duty to study it, to share its teachings with others, and to honor the Spaghetti Monster in all that we do. May His noodly appendages bless us all. Ra'men.
Thank you for the idea
DeleteI would also note that 'compete/competition' appears three times in the sentence!
ReplyDeleteOnly two "strategic", they could do better.
DeleteWorld War II is now ... ... World Competition II !!!!
ReplyDeleteWe didn't have a war, we competed with Germany and Japan. Participation trophies were handed to out to all involved on the USS Missouri at the closing ceremonies.
So, warships are now competition ships?
DeleteWould explain the Ford, at least: if there's ever a "least bang for the buck" competition, America will dominate.
Translation: After hearing commanding officers say that they may not be able to win a war vs. China, Joint Chiefs ask for a new strategy, new organization and new equipment. Well, agreed.
ReplyDeleteAt least they recognize there is a problem? I feel like I'm reaching here...
Yeah thats probably a reach LOL!!! None of them are newbs to their positions. Which means they havent been doing their job. Interesting that suddenly there's this revelation that we better 'do somthing', and that we need to buy stuff... Smh...
DeleteJjAbatie
Since were dealing in silliness today... Thankfully at least the amphib connector problem is solved!!! Evidently DARPA is contracting the aerospace industry for new seaplanes... 90 ton capacity behemoths that can travel at the enemy-impervious speed of 220+ mph...
Delete"At least they recognize there is a problem?"
DeleteThey are the problem. They (and their predecessors) are the ones who made the decisions that put us in this mess.
When the brass are more concerned with climate change and pronouns than warfighting, your military will suffer.
If only they could leverage diversity we would win the war
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's time to close the service academies for a couple of years, clean out the infrastructure, and start again with USNA v 2.0
ReplyDeleteThink classic case of recent unmatched hyperbole was with Rear Adm. McLane, commander, Naval Surface Force Atlantic, recent totally OTT press release claiming “DDG 51’s are the best warships in history", do wonder if the Admirals need a sanity check.
ReplyDeleteMemo to JCS:
ReplyDeleteArmed forces are good at two things--killing people and breaking things. The mission of the US military is to kill bad people and break their toys. Period.
Focus on that instead of all the extraneous stuff, and you'll get better at doing your job.